Why yes! Thanks for noticing.

Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.

Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ’cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!

And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr.

Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! And I’m his friend Jesus. You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. Really?! That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!

  1. Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial?
  2. I’m Santa Claus!
  3. For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love!

One hundred dollars. With gusto. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?

  • Who am I making this out to?
  • Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.
  • We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera.

Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. It doesn’t look so shiny to me. Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.

If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

Pansy. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor.

And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. I never loved you.

Oh yeah, good luck with that. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Large bet on myself in round one.

Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Fatal. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase.

Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long. Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. Kif might! Leela’s gonna kill me. Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault!

You lived before you met me?! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Throw her in the brig.

For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? You don’t know how to do any of those. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?

Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… Daddy Bender, we’re hungry.